


Warning Shots

by Weevilo707



Series: Taakitz Week 2: Electric Boogaloo [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Sharing Clothes, Taakitz Week, from inside an umbrella, kravitz argues with an umbrella, lup gives her brother's boyfriend a hard time, this is just cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 17:56:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16142483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weevilo707/pseuds/Weevilo707
Summary: Kravitz had just been bored waiting for his boyfriend to get back from dealing with his teammate's current crisis. He figured it wouldn't hurt to entertain himself by looking around at some of Taako's belongings. He was always telling him to get more comfortable after all.He wasn't sure exactly how comfortable he could get with that umbrella though.It was an inanimate object, but even still, he was fairly certain it hated him.





	Warning Shots

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts:   
> Fashion disasters  
> “That’s going to leave a mark.”

There were a lot of things that came with dating Taako that took some getting used to. As it was, ‘getting used to things’ wasn’t something that Kravitz had to deal with in a very long time. His life, well, continued existence had been a pretty steady, unbreaking routine for at least a few hundred years.

Not that his life had been dull before now, and he’d had time when he wasn’t at work. It was simply that he was used to spending almost all of that time on his own. He wasn’t  _ used _ to looking forward to seeing someone when he finished up a mission from his queen. He wasn’t used to missing them when they were gone.

He  _ certainly  _ wasn’t used to falling into boredom so quickly when left to his own devices. Taako had only stepped out of the room a few minutes ago. Well, more like rushed out as fast and irritated as possible, complaining the entire time. There was some sort of commotion going on with this two teammates. Kravitz had only been able to hear bits and pieces when they’d called Taako over the stone of farspeech.

Taako had sighed, told him he’d be only a minute and to hang out in his room until he got back. Normally Kravitz would offer to come along and help out, but he was fairly certain Taako hadn’t exactly explained their relationship to his friends yet. Considering the history there, it wasn’t something Kravitz wanted to spring on them with no warning.

Gods above, they hadn’t even been dating long enough for Taako to tell his closest friends yet. He shouldn’t be so stupidly impatient for Taako to get back already. It was ridiculous.

He liked spending time with him though, and they were both always so busy it was rare they got a chance to. Kravitz felt like that justified some of the disappointment and boredom at being forced to wait for his boyfriend to get back.

He  _ should _ just sit back and wait, since Taako said he’d be back soon. Even though they were officially dating now it would still be rude and an invasion of privacy if he started snooping around his room.

So he wasn’t going to do that.

But he guessed it wouldn’t hurt to look at some of the stuff he had laying out already. Taako was always telling him to get more comfortable after all. 

There were a lot of cookbooks. Some arcane tomes more advanced and theoretical than he felt like Taako would admit to reading. A bit of trash, although honestly the room was on the cleaner side of what Kravitz had seen.

There were also clothes, a lot of clothes. Most of them were on the floor, but it was also strewn across most surfaces. Jewelry had been tossed rather carelessly across the dresser and end tables. He poked at a few pieces, but didn’t put anything on.

Taako’s hat was hanging off the banister on the end of the bed. Or well, one of them was. Taako seemed to have quite a few, but that was the one he’d been wearing today before they came back to his room. It was a swirling deep blue and gold, with a large ribbon around the base and little gems and bobbles dangling off the rim. It didn’t seem like something that would match many outfits, but Taako had somehow managed to make it work flawlessly.

Grabbing the hat, he was very careful not to get any of the gems or trinkets stuck in his hair as he placed it on his head. Turning towards the large full body mirror hanging on the back of the closet door, Kravitz stared at himself for a moment.

Then he fell into a fit of giggles, because honestly he looked ridiculous. Taako had been able to pull off the look without a doubt, but it didn’t have quite the same effect on him. Glancing around the room some, he saw the cloak that Taako tended to wear most often. It was an ashy gray-blue with gold trimmings, and despite the elegant design was a bit more simple than a lot of Taako’s clothes. Having already taken off his own feathered cloak when they’d set down in the room, he slung this one over his shoulders.

It matched the hat better than Kravitz would’ve expected, although it seemed the slightest bit too short on him. Running a hand over the cloak, there was a clear enchantment to the cloak. The hat seemed to be an ordinary hat however.

He wondered if Taako would get back soon. He’d probably get a kick out of catching him like this. Although Kravitz wasn’t sure if that was an incentive or a deterrent. It’d be rather embarrassing, even though he knew any jokes Taako would make wouldn’t have any real barbs to them.

Kravitz was trying to decide if he should take the hat and cloak off or find more things to put on when he saw something moving out of the corner of his eye. He felt himself tense for a moment, but when he turned to look, he didn’t see anything. In the spot where he’d thought he’d seen movement, Taako’s umbrella lay on the ground.

He hadn’t realized Taako hadn’t taken it with him, the thing was usually as good as attached to his hip. He must’ve forgotten it in his rush. Kravitz frowned slightly, hoping that whatever mess Magnus and Merle had gotten into hadn’t required him to use any spells.

He should probably leave the umbrella where it lay. He still wasn’t sure how to feel about it after it had tried to blast him. He needed to ask Taako if he’d ever gotten around to looking into that and figured out if the thing was cursed or not.

Still, it was an incredibly important item to Taako, Kravitz could tell. He didn’t talk about it that way, and maybe it was the fact that it was a powerful arcane focus, but there had to be a reason Taako was almost never seen without it. Kravitz felt a little bad leaving it lying on the floor.

Well, it was just an umbrella. A very strong magical artifact yes, but it wasn’t scared of an umbrella. Walking over, he casually bent over to grab the handle so he could put it on Taako’s bed or hang it on the doorknob or something.

As soon as his fingers touched the wooden handle, a blast of arcane energy shot off of it. He snatched his hand back, glowering at his now skeletal fingers. Giving his hand a quick wave, the flesh quickly reformed.

The umbrella continued to lay motionless on the ground, as if nothing unusual had happened at all. It almost felt like it was mocking him.

But that was stupid, because it was an umbrella.

Looking around, Kravitz picked up a skirt Taako must've thrown to the ground and wrapped it around his hand. He just needed to get a hold of it long enough to toss it onto the bed.

This time he almost managed to get a hand around the umbrella, but then the crackle of arcane energy hit again, setting the skirt around his hand on fire.

“Shit!” he shouted, quickly unwrapping his hand before it could get burned. He managed to get the fire out before anything else caught flame, but there was still a large scorched hole down the side of the skirt now.

“Damn it, Taako liked this one,” he grumbled, glaring at the umbrella. He wasn’t talking to the umbrella, he was just muttering to himself. He wasn’t going to be  _ outsmarted _ by an umbrella either though.

With a huff, he summoned his scythe. This wasn’t exactly something it could set on fire or cause pain to. All he needed to do was hook it and throw it onto the bed.

He managed to get the blade of his scythe underneath the handle, hooking it on. Kravitz got so far as to manage to lift the umbrastaff off the ground even, ignoring the crackles of red arcane energy that were coming off the thing in waves now.

He’d almost gotten it over the bed when the umbrastaff suddenly pitched on the end of his scythe. It practically seemed to leap off the blade, and Kravitz hadn’t been expecting that kind of  _ movement _ from the thing. So he wasn’t exactly prepared for the scorching ray that shot at him while the umbrella was in midair. It blasted him in the chest, sending him flying back across the room. He felt himself collide with the mirror hanging on the closet door, glass crashing around him.

And then he heard the door open.

“Well, that’s going to leave a mark,” Taako said, an edge of amusement in his voice.

“No, it won’t,” Kravitz said, waving a hand his scorched chest fading away to bone before reforming back to normal. Taako was snickering still, although he seemed understandably confused.

“I meant to the door, but fair enough," he said, and Kravitz supposed that was fair. "So, talk about a fashion disaster. Mind telling me what you’ve been  _ up to _ in here? I’ve been gone for like ten minutes my dude,” Taako added, walking over and helping to pull him up out of the shattered glass. It was only then that Kravitz realized he was still wearing Taako’s hat and cloak, which he quickly shucked off. Taako took them with a look of amusement, glancing them over for any damage.

“I um, well I kind of got bored,” Kravitz started, which wasn’t the best way to begin an explanation. “Also, your umbrella hates me,” he added. That didn’t make any of this sound better. Taako frowned, looked to where the umbrella was lying on the ground still and picked it up. It didn’t shock him or blast off any spells or show any sign of being anything but a regular arcane focus at all.

“Hey now, we’ve fucking talked about this. No trying to kill the boyfriend,” Taako said, very clearly addressing the umbrella.

“You talk to it?” Kravitz asked, and Taako shrugged, dropping it so that it hung easily around his wrist.

“If it wants to act like it’s got a mind of its own, I’ll treat it that way,” he said.

“I suppose that’s fair. It certainly has a mind of its own,” Kravitz said, unable to keep himself from glaring at the staff. He quickly stopped when Taako started snickering at him again though. “So um, did you solve whatever crisis required your assistance?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Oh for sure, and  _ certain people _ know not to bother me for the rest of the goddamn day now,” he said. Kravitz couldn’t help but grin unabashedly at that. Then Taako threw the hat back onto Kravitz’s head, still holding onto the rim on either side of his face. “So, I never took you as the kinda guy to be into dress up and shit,” he said.

“I can say for certain that I don’t manage to pull any of it off as well as you,” Kravitz said with a smile, easily letting Taako pull him down into a kiss.

It only lasted a moment before Kravitz heard something thunk to the floor. He managed to pull away in time to see the umbrastaff roll underneath the bed.

“That thing is incredibly cursed,” he said bluntly, and Taako rolled his eyes.

“Eh, let her sulk, she’s not allowed to kill you and that’s that,” Taako said, and Kravitz chuckled in amusement again.

“It’s a her now?” he asked, and Taako frowned the slightest bit. There was a look on his fact that Kravitz had seen a few times now. A far off look on concentration, like he was trying to remember something that kept slipping away. Kravitz never pressed him on it when he got like this. There were obviously holes in his past, nearly a dozen deaths completely unaccounted for, and at this point Kravitz wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what had happened.

“Yeah, I mean, you know like how people call boats and super cool weapons her? It’s like that,” he said, and Kravitz nodded.

“Of course, well in that case, she’s incredibly cursed,” he said, and Taako laughed at that.

“Yeah, you’re probably right about that,” he said, and it didn’t seem like it bothered him that much. “I’ll be sure to give her a stern talking to later,” Taako added.

“Oh, she kinda destroyed one of your skirts while you were out too,” Kravitz added, pulling away from where Taako was still leaning up against him to show him the burned remains of the skirt. For the first time in all of this Taako actually looked genuinely annoyed.

“Aw, what the hell,” he whined, grabbing the skirt and inspecting it. “Damn it, I liked this one too,” he complained, and Kravitz patted his back sympathetically.

“I promise I’ll replace it, since it was trying to kill me and the skirt happened to be in the way,” he said. Taako was still pouting slightly, but nodded.

“Yeah, I guess that works,” he said, letting the destroyed skirt fall to the ground with that. “So, you still in the mood for a little dress up or what my dude?” he asked, a playful smile returning to his face. Kravitz let out a slightly nervous laugh at that.

“It depends, what kind of outfit do you have in mind?” he asked, and Taako was already over at his closet, carefully stepping around the broken glass. They should clean that up before someone got hurt.

“Oh, I’m sure I have something around here to pull off of you,” he said absently. Kravitz raised an eyebrow at that.

“You mean that I can pull off?” he asked, amused.

“Sure, either way works,” Taako said, and Kravitz laughed at that. He should probably be a little more concerned about the arcane focus with an apparent will of it’s own and a vendetta against him in particular. Unsurprisingly however, Taako proved himself to be rather distracting.

Kravitz supposed if it was really something to be worried about, Taako would figure something out. So instead Kravitz pushed it to the back of his mind.

At the end of the day, both him and the umbrella seemed to care about Taako. They could have a truce for the time being.

**Author's Note:**

> we're back on that taakitz week bullshit! it was really hard not to turn this into a giant AU where Kravitz breaks the umbrastaff early and is stuck dealing with an angry lup. i might get around to that idea someday, because it's a fun one. As for this fic though, just some cute fluff to start off Taakitz week.


End file.
